Nothing more than the pretty face.
I envy people who are free. I've always felt like a bird in a cage and up till now I still feel like it.
I didn't want to make today a big deal, because honestly I don't think it is.
There are people out there who don't have mothers that are hurting today, and
I decided to be a little bit more sensitive about that this year.
I'm thinking about stopping the advice column. Maybe I'm not really qualified as a person
to give out any advice about life. Honestly, now that I think about it. When I started the blog,
the floodgates of hell opened in my life, I am sinking in dark waters. Funny, water's always been
my best element. Now I feel like I'm being punished by it's destructive side. I don't see waves
in my life anymore, I see whirlpools and I feel like I'm lost inside the Bermuda Triangle or
something. So maybe from hereon, I'll stop promoting this god forsaken blog and just put some
personal entries on here.
Today, I was walking around outside. It wasn't a nice, sunny day though. It was a glum,
rainy day. I stood in the rain thinking about where I am in life. I looked back at the place
I called home and realized that, I have never been so low in my life. I wasn't at all happy
at the place I am now. And I admitted to myself, I am terrified. But there's a way, a way I
won't have to feel any of it at all. I just need to turn it off. I just need to turn off my feelings,
forget about everything and everyone and just not care anymore. That's the only way I think
I will get past this part of my life. Otherwise, I'd go insane. Turn it off, something kept telling me.
Just turn it OFF.